Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Don't Touch

And yet he insisted on doing so...*sigh*

BonkerZ Tours Steelhead

My lab assistant BonkerZ arrived bright and early at the warehouse for work, where I briefed her on Steelhead and some of its citizens. I thought we might pick up where we left off on our tour and see the rest of Steelhead...
While in the City, we stopped by the Town Hall. We both eyed the jury with interest. "Lobotomized"? Doesn't make a difference to us on a plate...We then walked over to the jail to pay Willard the Rat a visit so that I could introduce the two of them. I did tell BonkerZ that he was not to be eaten, although we reminded him it "could" happen. Willard started to tell me one of his longwinded tales, but I had to interrupt him. Otherwise, we would never be able to finish our tour...Speaking of rats, I got BonkerZ situated at the lab in Caledon, where she proceeded to bother Chuckles. He was not amused and swore revenge someday...Hm...I heard that Doctor Mason got a new lab assistant all of a sudden. What, sir? Keeping up with the Alters? *chuckles*

A New Minion Arrives Ready for Mayhem

I got a knock at the warehouse door and peered out to see a white kitty standing there whose hair could be best described as "shocking". Introducing herself as BonkerZClamper Blackheart and speaking in a repetitive, poetic cadence, I realized that she was my new lab assistant...After a quick tour of the grounds I had her to take a seat upstairs in Warehouse 2, where my other minion Pilot was already waiting for us. I added her photo to the minion portrait gallery and proceeded to tell her the rules, which mainly consisted of "Do not cross me." At one point Pilot scooted his chair over a bit when he realized she was talking to herself. "Oh no Poke, I won't scratch the turkey chair," she said. "Yes, yes, yes. I am a vegeterablianist." Pilot and I looked at each other as I asked "And who might Poke be?" She pointed to her single strand of black hair. "He tells me things," she said. Pilot moved over a bit more.
We took an entertaining tour of Steelhead together. I pointed out the seals and the first thing BonkerZ said was "Can we eat them?" Truly kitty thinking of he highest order. After telling her The Elf said we couldn't, she shook her paw in the air, saying "Damn elves! First Lord of the Rings and now we can't eat seal?!" We continued on, stopping in front of the Mason Labs. BonkerZ looked at it, then me, and asked "Burn?"
We shall tour the City and Boomtown next. I think she will fit in just fine. And mind you, she hasn't even met Cato yet...*groans* Dear God.

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Wake Up Already!

Haaaa! I say he went easy on him!

A Rare Thing

I am smiling. Such a rare thing indeed that if that doesn't make you nervous it should.

It is after a rather important realization that brought me pure, unadulterated, fiendish glee.

What caused me such mirth? Such joy? Wouldn't you like to know.

Villains Aether Salon in Babbage

On Sunday I attended the Aether Salon in Babbage Palisade, hosted by Miss Viv Trafalgar and Miss Serafina Puchkina with the Baron and Doctor Obolensky as panelists. The topic? Villains. Why else would I leave the lab? While the Baron rather protests being labelled as a such, Doctor O embraces his villain status with a flourish. As he very well should! Why would one not want to be? Here is an excerpt from the transcript which you may find here:
"[14:34] Doctor Obolensky: ...Now then, I suppose you are all thinking "Why, oh why, is my life plagued with Doctor Obolensky, that horrible villain and stylish man about town? Well, the answer is rather simple. You lead boring, ordinary lives. And yet, you lack the drive, the vision, and the ability, to crush your neighbors with giant mechanical lobsters. So of course, someone has to do it for you, or you'd all end up with nothing to talk about. Now then...I'm a genius, and I could have chosen, at some point, to follow the path of the hero. But, let's face it. Although better than you rabble, heroes have a significant down side. Do heroes get to ride about in giant mechanical lobsters, crushing buildings beneath their oversized claws? No! Being a villain is simply more fun."

I appreciate a fellow villain who "gets" it. He seemed rather fond of mentioning giant lobsters though, which led to the following exchange:
[15:32] Treloar Parx: Doctor O, what commission are you receiving on future sales of Dr. Alter's lobsters?
[15:32] Doctor Obolensky: Ten percent, and a bulk discount for orders over a dozen. Actually, I wasn't even aware she made giant lobsters.

Well, now you know sir...may tock lobsters trample the world! *cackles*

A Problem With Serums...and the Moon

I looked out at the window of my Caledon lab. Night was coming quickly and I needed to get to Steelhead. Whatever that serum was that I had been given last month, I could not reverse it myself and was a bit nervous about what I was becoming. Was I pleased to have bigger kitty paw feet? Not really.Was I pleased that my shapeshifting had been compromised, my fangs even sharper and more elongated and my hair was now to my knees like The Elf (who saw me and said I looked positively vampiric)? NO...By the time I made it to the warehouses, the full moon was coming out and I realized that my original purpose for being there had to be put on hold for a bit. Now that truly ticked me. Everything seemed rather heightened, even for me. I usually have sharp senses anyway, being a cat and all, but this...this was different. I am not normally afraid, but something inside of me felt as if it needed to spring free. My God, it was like instant feral feline...but worse...
I barricaded myself in Warehouse No.2, with the doorway and trap door nailed shut as I did not trust myself or the safety of others around me. How long would this last? Was this condition the trade-off for my life itself as I should be on life #5 instead of #4 right now? Having been saved instead, I had not been allowed to transition. Was this to be my fate until the next time I did? I laid on the ground swearing at my current misfortune...
Mr Quan stopped by to check on me. I warned him to stay on the other side. He tried to raise my spirits by stating that with the governments and citizens of New Babbage and other nations in such flux right now, that they were ripe for kitty revolution. That did indeed bring a smile on my face until he felt emboldened to make fun from the other side of the boards--comparing me to one of those lycans due to my werecat transformation. I took a swipe at him. I will be free tomorrow Mr Quan. Let us hear your jokes then...I tossed and turned fitfully, my mind consumed with thoughts of rage and anger--even moreso than normal. For those who know me, that is quite saying something. At some point I must have finally dozed as I awoke and stretched to the first rays of the sun, transformed back to my normal neko self once more...
Doctor Mason, you and I shall be having a chat soon. *sharpens her claws to very sharp points*

And With the Moon...

*looks at her skin and feet*

Something about me is a bit "off" Tonight is the perigee moon and it seems to have triggered something. I believe it may have had something to do with that serum Doc Mason gave me to save my life last month. However, I believe it has a bit of a side effect. Tomorrow is the full moon...oh my...

Evil Plans?

Well, I most certainly hope so...although it looks like your enlarging ray has worked kitty. Here's to planning!


more animals

Papa...Kitty Inventor, Explorer & Rogue

Giancarlo, aka "Papa"
Kitty Inventor, Explorer & Rogue

I can see what my mother Fluffy liked about him. My father was charming, clever and funny, a dandy rogue with a wild streak. His crowd was a bit rougher and I liked it and the freedom that seemed to come with it. "All this world's yours Malegatto darling, and it is BIG!" he'd tell me. So when Fluffy and Muffy went to the City, I opted for a life of adventure exploring the world with Papa instead. So many exciting stories to tell. Perhaps I will relay them here in this journal.

He had a way with tools and tinkering. His inventions were wonderful. It was he who taught me what I knew, before my schooling...before Hidden Paw. I still wear his goggles in honor of him.

I never expected the accident to happen...

That was Life #1 for me.

Unfortunately, he was on #9.

But that is a story for another time.

Yes, I DO Have a Mother...

Yes, I have a mother and was not spawned or anything contrary to popular belief...

"Malegatto, why , why, WHY?", she says to me quite often. Henrietta ("Fluffy") is a pampered, spoiled former show cat who was a regular on the Crystal Palace circuit. My mother and I have a rather strained relationship, to say the least. Proud, arrogant and sharp-tongued, she has little patience for well, anything. Especially not anything that is not as she wishes it to be. No, that does not sound familiar!

She lives a life of elegant luxury and I have memories of being fed rather wonderful morsels as a kitten and lying in a cushioned velvet kitty bed. As I got older, I will admit to rebelling quite a bit, which exasperated her. She seemed rather dismayed--and at the same time, relieved--that I chose to be with my father ("Dear God, may you not be covered with fleas and have to eat spoiled fishheads," she told me.)

Yet, I somehow get the feeling that she seems to be a bit proud of me. I once overheard her tell her friends, "My other daughter? She means to take over the WORLD. Can yours do that?"

From the Mouth of My Sister Muffy...

You know that character in Jane Austen novels? The one who is silly and naive--an innocent who is ever-so-slightly daft? Well, that is my twin sister Prudence ("Muffy") in a nutshell.

My favorite Muffy-isms:
"Oh, Malegatto...but did you REALLY have to eliminate them?"

"Malegatto, you should settle down and find a nice, handsome, respectable tom to have kittens with. I know a nice stripey fellow for you, and I know how much you like golden eyes..."

"I picked some flowers today! They were so pink and yellow. I like yellow. I saw a pony and a rainbow and fluffy clouds!"

"Malegatto, minions are people too!"

"Do you have to take over the world today? Here, have a cupcake."

Muffy: "But does the automaton thingie NEED to destroy things?"
Me: "Yes"
Muffy: "Not the pretty ponies!"
Me: "DEFINITELY the pretty ponies!"

*sighs*

Happy New Year

A happy new year (to some of you) from the Lab...

Let the mayhem commence.