Farewell My Doppelganger

I have been in hiding for quite a while now, so I have been remiss in updating this aether journal. I have also been remiss in noting the passing of one of my feline inspirations, Miss Scout aka "STK" (Stump-Tailed Kitty for her stump of a tail)...

Your petty, stubborn streak as well as your sense of humor and keen intelligence shall be truly, sorely missed. The dragging of your human servant caretaker's course textbooks into your litter box was a master stroke indeed! That showed him! Brilliant! I do send him my condolences.

 May there be all of the kitty treats, wiggling things on strings, and fishies that you can possibly handle.

Adopt A Cat Month

Yes, I recognize that it is now the end of June and I was rather slow to speak of this, but June is Adopt A Cat Month.

I was rather lucky in that I grew up with a human that loved me and my family, as well as the other felines and animals of her household. But many other felines have not been so lucky and end up in shelters. Lest someone say that I have gone soft, to me it means more minions! I mean happy complacent humans!

I mean, oh...you get what I mean! You may also find out more about how you can give a good kitty a home, or visit your local shelter, ASPCA or Humane Society.

The kitty revolution will not be telegraphed.

I Know the Feeling...

Yes, I know how this feels...

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Ask ETK: Flushed Away

Dear Evil Tiny Kitty,

My kitty Raven is obsessed with watching the toilet flush. Whenever I go to flush it, if she can get into the restroom she will run in and hop up on the seat and watch as it flushes down. Why?

Signed,
Porcelain God

Dear Porcelain God,

For some kitties, the siren call of the swirling water is too much for them. The strange white monster makes the noise, but then--wonder of all wonders--the water goes round and round. It disappears and then it is calmly back again. Where does it go to? Is it magic? Why...does...it...swirl? Those are questions many kitties ask themselves. I, for one, have no interest in seeing human waste matter swirling away.

Ew.

Perhaps your kitty has the same *cough* "quirk" as this one:


If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Merriment and Mirth for the Holidays

A good holiday to you and yours from Evil Tiny Kitty Laboratories...

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Kill Them With Cute

This one is for The Elf, who seems to be under the spell of its cuteness like so many others. Powers like that can not possibly be good!!!!

Ask ETK: Love Nips

Dear Evil Tiny Kittty,

Why does Frank nip me when I am minding my own business on the computer?

Signed,
Trying This Again

Dear Trying This Again,

How many times do I have to tell you that this handsome fellow can do no wrong?

Frank, you can nip me instead. Telegraph me.

Your human? Quit writing me already...

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Wakey, Wakey...

When will the humans learn that we wake up quite early and like them to serve us then as well? The efforts we must go through...

Rodent...It's What's for Dinner

I'm sure that if you are a regular reader of this aethernet journal, then you know about my love of a hearty rat stew or mouseheads lightly drizzled with anchovy oil. While you lily-stomached types recoil in disgust, it is quite a savory dish in feline circles. Seems that in some human circles, rodents make a lovely meal as well, as seen in the recipes mentioned HERE.

Oh, never fear...Willard and Chuckles are safe. I think those two would be a bit...tough to digest. Chester, on the other hand, is one word too many towards making his way into a simmering pot!

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: "Hate" is Such An Ugly Word...

...but sometimes, it seems to sum things up quite well...

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Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Yes, Hiding is GOOD

A minion after my own heart...I do like how they think...

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Ask ETK: Garden Gnome Attacks

Dear Evil Tiny Kitty,

I am having a problem with Scout again. Why does she keep attacking my garden gnome and breaking it?

Signed,
Broken

Dear Broken,

'Tis a garden gnome.

May I help her?? PLEASE?


If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Minion Potential

Minions with such potential to slip away unnoticed like that are always of value!

Feline Transport

The latest in automated feline transport. Surely something like this will come in handy (for me). I shall set my minions to work:

Ask ETK: Love or Stabbing?

Dear Evil Tiny Kitty,

Why does Mittens show love by laying on my lap but always tries to stab me in the thighs?

Signed,
Miss Invisible

Dear Miss Invisible,

When you sit on a cushioned chair, are you showing it love by sitting on it?

No.

You, my dear...are the chair. Try not to confuse yourself into thinking otherwise. The stabbing is just to keep the cushion, I mean, you from shifting and upsetting the delicate balance of relaxation and peaceful thoughts.

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Willard the Rat: A Tale of Two Kitties

I missed my weekly visit with Willard last week due to that minor mishap with the electrical line, so I thought I'd stop by. The usual threats were exchanged, the cheese was set out and all and I think I fell asleep somewhere around "...And I told those two cats, you know--Buttons and Dribbles--that rats love to gnaw things..." All I heard was more "blahblahblah" and fell asleep. I woke up to his laughing--which sounds like a high-pitched squeaky wheeze--and his saying something about his rat humor being too much for me.

I checked my pockets before I left and a few of my Lindens were missing. After exchanging some more threats and baring my fangs and claws he grumbled something about violence and cats going hand in hand and begrudgingly gave them back. I mean, really...he lives in a jail. With no one else. What in the heck was he going to buy?

Oh nevermind, don't answer that.

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Start Them Young

They will have a fine career in evil indeed!

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Ask ETK: Oh...It Doesn't Even Matter...

This is Frank. I was told in a letter that he gets excited about squirrels outside and knocks over things inside. I mean really, who doesn't?

I don't care what he's done wrong. Those big paws? That come-hither look? That little "goatee" splotch that gives him such a rogueish, dashing air...and oh my--he has golden eyes?

*waves a paw, giggles and whispers*

"Telegraph me..."

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Ask ETK:

Dear Evil Tiny Kitty,

Why does Scout pull my textbooks into her litterbox? And why does she try to remove the insulation from my air conditioning?

Signed, Two Seconds From Screaming

Dear Two Seconds From Screaming,

It is because she can.

And from what I can see from this photo, you didn't need those textbooks anyway as it seems she is the one really doing the work!

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Evil Kitty of the Week: Um...

I personally do not know how the tiny sparkly ponies will help? Perhaps irritate them to death?

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