Monday, August 31, 2009

Ask ETK: Love Nips

Dear Evil Tiny Kittty,

Why does Frank nip me when I am minding my own business on the computer?

Trying This Again

Dear Trying This Again,

How many times do I have to tell you that this handsome fellow can do no wrong?

Frank, you can nip me instead. Telegraph me.

Your human? Quit writing me already...

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at] and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

To-Do List

I sat at the warehouse and thought about all of the things on my to-do list:
  1. Reprimand minions
  2. Use a minion as an example
  3. Order new beakers
  4. Get the doom ray out of the shop
  5. Feed the squiddy thing
  6. Write letter of demands to The Elf
  7. Threaten my enemies
  8. Threaten my friends
  9. Assess lair for weaknesses
  10. Reprimand minions if weaknesses are found
  11. Invent a "fire extinguisher"
An evil genius' work is never done...

Monday, August 24, 2009

My, What Large Wings You Have

I rarely attend social events in Steelhead as I am usually quite busy off tending to business or working in the laboratory. I thought I would take my customary walk through Steelhead and came upon the Friday night dance at the Capital City dock. I hesitated to go at first, pausing and ready to walk back to the warehouses. At the last moment, I changed my mind and was sitting there quietly on a crate watching the others when I smelled a familiar scent. I looked over and the purple-haired demon had seated himself nearby. I was surprised to see Chronos, as the last I knew he had been taken away. He asked me to dance and we had an interesting conversation.

If you have regularly perused this journal, then you know that I have participated in my share of campaigns and assorted underhanded schemes and such, but I do not get to chat about them much. After all, I am not a Siamese kitty, I know when to be quiet about those matters. I will admit that it was rather nice to talk with someone that did not seem to mind the rather questionable things that I have done and was also impervious to my sharp claws. We spoke of his confinement and he explained to me that he had been rescued. He is a most intriguing demon, not like any of the others that I have met before and especially not like that one, from so long ago.

Oh stop. 'Twas just a dance. If anything, my mother will be happy to know that the money spent on my dancing lessons was not in vain.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Wakey, Wakey...

When will the humans learn that we wake up quite early and like them to serve us then as well? The efforts we must go through...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Willard the Rat: Ruinin' Good Cheese

I went to visit Willard the Rat today. Seems the cell was freshly washed before I came, so I sat down to listen to him. "Do try to not be as longwinded as usual," I said. "The minions get into things when I am away."

His beady eyes glittered a bit before he said, "Aw, shut yer trap cat. I'm not 'longwinded", I've just got plenty to say."

"No doubt about that," I muttered to myself.

"I'm right here, ya know," he said, his little ears twitching. "Anyways, I got a story for you today involving excitement, adventure, and cheese."

"Cheese?," I said, rolling my eyes. "Oh, for Bastet's sake, I should've known."

He laughed his squeaking laugh and continued, ignoring me. "Well, you remember the two guys that I helped escape, right? Turns out they were the McGillicuddy Brothers, outlaws and general public menaces. Of course, I didn't care about all that given that I was fed quite well. All the stuff I could handle. The tall one--Sean--took care of me pretty well. He also usually had to take care of his younger brother Patrick, who was kind of reckless."

"It was kind of an exciting time for a young rat like me. There was something about riding the horses into a new town. Always the same: Folks comin' out and watchin' us go by, the men of the town scowlin' and lookin' like they want to grab their weapons. The sheriff at some point would make sure that we knew he was there. The ladies just looked. Everyone stayed outta our way. Always the same."

"Well, we stopped in this small town and went straight to the lodgings there. The man didn't ask any questions. Just took our money, told us when mealtime was, and handed over our room keys. The lady was a whole other story. Upon seeing me perched on Sean's shoulder she started screamin'. I mean, she would not shut up. Her husband's tryin' to hush her and all, but she wouldn't shut up. She finally calmed down and asked for a moment to freshen up our rooms a bit more. The brothers looked at one another and shrugged. 'Won't be too long,' she said, and hurried off."

"A few minutes later we went on into the room and I started to sniff. The Brothers noticed the cheese first and looked at one another. Patrick went on over and sniffed it and started cussin' in another language. I started to hop down from Sean's shoulder, but realized the cheese smelled a little funny. He held onto me and said, 'Not this time, friend. It's got a l'il extra on it that can kill ya.' I figured out what he meant and it was my turn to start cussin'."

"The Brothers turned right on around and hightailed it outta there. We hopped on their horses and I think it's safe to say they did a bit of damage that night. 'Nobody messes with Willard!' they yelled as they tore through town, leaving a trail of mayhem behind 'em. Darn straight! Ruinin' a good piece of cheese like that!"

Willard looked me square in the eye and said, "Nobody oughtta ruin cheese."

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Ode to a Gasworks

Yesterday, as I stood before the now destroyed and much-despised gasworks in Steelhead City, I composed a little poem:

O gasworks, trees you did consume
Hated thing you were
With your gears and noise and saws
Amidst idyllic Steelhead green.

Those naysayers to progress
Adverse to soot
With their fresh air, clean living ways
A problem-solving "storm".

Such rubble, all about in ruins
Still now are your blades
Know all, there is only forward
Industry marches on!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Rodent...It's What's for Dinner

I'm sure that if you are a regular reader of this aethernet journal, then you know about my love of a hearty rat stew or mouseheads lightly drizzled with anchovy oil. While you lily-stomached types recoil in disgust, it is quite a savory dish in feline circles. Seems that in some human circles, rodents make a lovely meal as well, as seen in the recipes mentioned HERE.

Oh, never fear...Willard and Chuckles are safe. I think those two would be a bit...tough to digest. Chester, on the other hand, is one word too many towards making his way into a simmering pot!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Oh My...A Tower...

Oh my...a fancy wasserturm? As the saloon is now gone, I suppose this is the Elf's doing...
I could not resist going in and climbing up its stairs towards the top...Of course, upon reaching the highest point and looking down I could not help but to think of how far down it was and how there are some folks that I...haaaa...Now now, my good folks, I would never do such a thing! If one simply "loses their balance", I could not possibly be at fault for their clumsiness?

Friday, August 14, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Willard the Rat Meets Chester the Mouse

Thought I'd stop by to visit with Willard the Jail Rat today. He muttered something about how long it'd been since my last visit and I set the tray of fresh cheese down for him. He started to launch into one of those stories of his when he yelled "What the heck do ya have there in yer mouth?! It better not be what I think it is!"
I had forgotten about Chester and calmly stopped chewing on him. I spat him out and held him up delicately with my claws by the end of his tail. "Wellhellotheresir! HowareyouI'mChesterandyouare... Ohwowyouliveinajail?Isitfun?Doyoumeetprisoners?Doyouwanttoescape? Oooooo...cheese!"Willard stopped dead in his tracks and stared long and hard at both of us..."On second thought," he said. "Keep on doin' what you were doin'..."

Friday, August 7, 2009

Hmm...Getting Better at This Full Moon Thing...

I think I am beginning to be getting a bit better at controlling this. Although my mind felt "swirly", I seemed to weather the werecat change more so than before...However, to be safe, I still barricaded myself in the warehouse last night to tough it out. We remember what happened last time...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Contemplations on Past Campaigns

I have mentioned that I have been slacking a bit lately while here in Steelhead. Perhaps it is all of that godawful fresh air, the nice demons, the things to keep me occupied otherwise...who knows? Hmm...I have not been away for a while...perhaps this would be a good time after the full moon occurs. God, I would hate to travel during that time of the month.

If I managed to destroy one home under pretty normal circumstances more or less, can you imagine if I was actually "up to something" Hmm...*cackles*

Wait...are the fish nipping my tail?! Oh, I know what I'm having for dinner tonight!