Oh my, I seem to have gotten a response to my henchman/minion request! A Mr. Cato Quan has applied for the position. I shall have to set him up for an interview. I do hope it goes better than the last applicant's.
As promised in my earlier posting, I have reprinted his application below. Given his "initiative" I am glad that I tend to handle all correspondence with tongs...
Dr. Malegatto, Greetings.
I have been told, through what sources I shall not name, that you seek an underling to aid in your exploits and notable works- I would humbly put myself forward as candidate to this august position- I shall endeavor to explain my qualifications, and leave it to your judgement.
I am called Cato Quan. Whether this is the name I was given by parents or no, is of no importance. I have been thrust from my homelands upon a wind of ill fortune, brought on by the expansionist policies of colonial Caledon , which has filled me with a seething rage, soothed only by the contemplation of mayhem I might abet in the service of a like-minded genius such as your writings have shown you to be. Most loathsome, I find, is the state's capitulation to those who wish to, as -they- say, "Fix" me. Fix me? Bwahh-hahh! I am Not-yet-broken!!! Bwuh-hahhh-hahhh!!! hee-hee-heeee!...heh...(alright, maybe a little bit broken.) But, though my litter-mates have been taken and altered by their evil clutches, yet I remain! To see them revenged one by one! ...but, I get ahead of myself...
You shall find me a trusty servant, adept at construction large or small, armed with cannon or sawblade, or the mystical powers taught in the orient, all to pledge to your defense and genius.
I require only mouse-heads enough to keep me healthy, and a scratching place to keep the claws sharp. To show I am in earnest about displaying my ability for taking initiative, and as a character reference, I have taken the the liberty of coating this resume with a slow-acting, yet lethal, contact poison. I look forward to your positive reply and request for antidote, which will be speedily provided.
I remain (I anticipate) your servant
Dr. Cato Quan
Translated and scribed at the request of Dr. Quan by Dr. Barny Haggle (deceased)