Willard's Roommate

I thought I would stop by and check in on Willard the Jail Rat. I was most surprised to see that there was another rodent in his cell. A roommate perhaps? What is its name? I thought Willard did not like others in his cell with him. A rat loner.

It was most chatty in a Chester kind of way. It was rather hard to keep from eating him as he looked quite appetizing. I asked him how he was enjoying his new abode and he simply said "There are not enough things to gnaw on, and you know how we rats like to gnaw things!"

Oh, for Bastet's sake.

Stirring the Pot

Yes, I've been away for a while. I had some...things to tend to. I am just glad that the minions kept the place in good order while I was gone.

They better have...

Winter in Steelhead

I gave my neighbor two paws up for this one during the recent snow in Steelhead...

A Day at the Dog Park

Sometimes I like to walk over to the dog park and mess with the canines. What the...is this one sniffing me??!!!Doom rays on "stun" work wonders...

Rather Damp in There I Say

Miss Burton's houseboat seems to have sunk into the harbor. I had nothing to do with this one...

What Does THAT Do?

While roaming Port Harbor today, I found a big red button saying "Do Not Touch" in The Redhead's lab. You would think, given the various and assorted things that I own that say that same thing, that I would know better...Oh my...RUN!!!!

I Almost Forgot

I almost forgot. I know that it is after the holidays, but my minions' gingerbread rendition of the Port Harbor warehouse won 2nd place in the contest. I snuck in later and took a bite out of the winner's.

Yes, I am that petty.

A Rather Interesting Rez Day

I ventured out of the Lab to particpate in Steelhead's Holiday Storytelling Festival and perform my "12 Days of Mad Scientist Christmas" to an appreciative audience...
Lest anyone think I am anti-holiday, I rather enjoy the season and the prospect of gifts of fishies, mice, and doom rays. Not to mention sharks in tanks...sharks not in tanks. It warms my heart, but not as much as the coal I seem to receive instead. My Hidden Paw colleague, ChairmanMe Yowman was there, and engaged The BunnyElf in a round of fisticuffs...I attended the dance afterwards with music presenter Diamanda Gustafson, whose snowflakes were in the form of skulls. I was thrilled. She was also wearing a rather interesting hat...I normally do not like dances, but I checked the calendar and realized it was my rez day. Another year of dodging enemies and friends and I am still here to tell the tale!

Holiday Recitation of the 12 Days of Steampunk Mad Scientist Christmas

Tomorrow, do come out as I shall be caterwauling singing my "12 Days of Steampunk Mad Scientist Christmas" song at the Steelhead Holiday Storytelling Festival. It will be held from 5 - 7 pm SLT at the Steelhead Library Gardens in Steelhead City. I go on at 6:30.

The Elf was so kind as to recite it for me last year. I shall spare him this time. For those of you who would like to follow along, I am reprinting my lyrics here:

The 12 Days of Steampunk Mad Scientist Christmas
by Malegatto Alter

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...a tock lobster in the warehouse
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...two Tesla coils
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...three brass cogs
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...four rubber gloves
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...FIVE BIG AIRSHIPS!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...six mobs a yelling
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...seven folks a screaming
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...eight rats a running
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...nine minions missing
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...ten labs a burning
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...eleven beakers bubbling
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...twelve diff'rence engines

And for the fun of it, my version of "The Christmas Song"...

"Minions falling into an open fire
Police breaking down your door...
Brass robots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to beep tonight..."

Yes Cato, there really is a Santa Claws. See you all tomorrow.

Wandering St Helens

I had some, ahem, "business" to take care of recently so I was away for a while. Upon my return, I thought that I would explore St Helens, Steelhead's latest sim. It seems to be rather rustic...I don't know about all of this fresh air and "nature". Yes, the snow was fluffy and white and I wished to pounce and leap through it, but I heard there are bears about in these parts. Then again, it would be quite the silly bear who would come too close to me...
I did climb the mountain to add my flag to the other "claims"...

The Elf Made Me Do It

Many of the children from Babbage have recently immigrated to Steelhead and are staying in Miss Razor's hostel in Boomtown. These little humans seem to be a rather lively lot and are very intrigued by my squiddy thing. I would much advise them to behave regarding it, lest it sees them as "snacks." One of these scamps had become lost in the woods the other week and injured himself quite badly. Dr Beck, who is our resident physician was unavailable when a distress call from them for help came out.

"Are you not a doctor?" The Elf inquired. I rolled my eyes and muttered that I could care less as it was the boy's own fault and his leg should fall off or something for his idiotic roamings. After all, what is a mangled hand or black lung here or there when it comes to them?

"But DR Alter...this is a child," The Elf implored. Did he not hear what I think of them--with their germs and tail-pulling, bear hugging ways? "I would imagine that working for you is rather hazardous. The minions injure themselves all of the time. You must have something?"

With thoughts of dealing with The Redhead and her arsenal in my head, I went over to the hostel with the first aid kit the minions cobbled together. I sighed and cursed under my breath that it was The Elf that asked me to help. Hmph. He could probably hear me complaining from sims away with those ears. I had a right mind to just toss the aid kit at them and keep going, but much to their gratitude, I patched the young miscreant up. After a threat, I departed...running right into The Elf upon my leaving. I could see the big smile on his face and scowled.

"Aw, I knew you could never do anything bad!" he said, very much to my chagrin.

I told him to keep an eye on his house...and his hair.

Squiddy Thing Back to "Normal"

I have been watching Squiddy carefully since his recent expulsion of the gent he had digested. It seems to be recovering a bit nicely and has taken to waving about once more.

I should probably set out the ham again, just in case, so that one of the scamps do not end up inside next.

Steam Willard is Out

I set out the larger version of Steam Willard the Rat at the warehouses, which reminds me that I must pay a visit to the live one.

Mmm...Mmm...Good?

While taking my morning stroll around Port Harbor I walked down the the docks near the Navy headquarters and came upon this mother hen and her little chicks. I licked my fangs and thought that chicken would be nice for breakfast. I saw the seals, and considered making short work of the little one, but all of the fat in it probably would just come back to bite me in the end.

You Must Be Jesting

Although unusual incidents are not out of the ordinary in my line of work, I felt I had to do something about the gent in my squiddy thing. I most certainly was not going to cut him out of my poor squiddy. I had to come up with a solution that would not harm the creature, so I prepared a laxative elixir in the hopes that the fellow would be expelled. Let us just say that it worked...
Dr Beck came over to retrieve the body for an autopsy and such. I gave him a sample of the elixir just in case it was needed. He seemed a bit surprised at my saying that I was alright with the body staying inside as a warning to everyone else. Folks would definitely pay attention to the VERY LARGE sign then, don't you think?I was tossing some things into the incinerator when I heard news that another body had been found hanged in the mines...with a pamphlet of mine beside it. I mean really, this whole situation is becoming ridiculous. Wait...I have pamphlets?!

Ongoing Investigation

Being a busy feline of science, I do not normally attend town meetings. However, I was there last week given the recent events at the warehouses. I thought that I would come and be among my fellow citizens, do my civic duty, deflect attention...oh, whatever. Let us just say that I do not hoooo. I couldn't have given a Willard's arse about attending under normal circumstances, but I was in the building anyway due to having been brought in for questioning by The Sheriff, with The Elf in attendance...
I've been to many questionings in my life. Many. This was no different, so 'twas a breeze for me. After all, despite my past "misunderstandings" and "accidents", this time I am actually innocent...
Posters have been placed about town with the missing chap on it. Despite the fact that I have been tempted many a time to do so, personally I am offended at the possibility that someone else would use my Squiddy as a human disposal system. My methods of dispatching someone are decidedly less...sloppy. The perpetrator had better hope that the Sheriff finds them before I do. I am going to go and sharpen my claws now...

The Mystery of the Squiddy Thing

Upon my return to the warehouse, I found a rather interesting sight. My squiddy thing had mutated yet again, and some poor chap was in its gullet! Normally, the minions and I would "take care" of something like this, but wondering if it was some hapless Steelhead resident who chose to ignore my sign, I contacted the authorities...
Cato and I stood by watching as the Sheriff examined the squiddy thing. Neither he nor The Elf recognized the gentleman and suggested that we put out a poster. Fuzz's concern was that not only had the mutation been triggered, but that perhaps this was no accident. This man was either lured to it or murdered elsewhere and placed there! Only an autopsy could tell and we would have to have one done first. He mentioned something about blood on the property and such, but that is not an abnormal occurrence here. As he was in his lycan form, he stooped to get a closer look, his tail swishing against the ground. It was all that I could do to not to pounce upon it... The Sheriff sniffed the air, trying to catch a scent and to his surprise, he could not. Wolfsbane. "Rather good timing on their part," I said, mentioning the time of year and the heightened superstition among the folks...My property was cordoned off, but due to certain unknowns regarding the squiddy thing's digestive system, the body can not be easily extracted. Of course, as it happened on my property and I seem to have a bit of a "reputation", things seem to be pointing to me right now. I see a questioning in my future. Hmph. I am more discreet than this. If I did this, do you think I would have called them over to come see? Well now Steelhead, it seems we officially have a mystery going on...To follow along or join in the mystery, you can start with The Sheriff's official posting here. This is going to be an interesting month...I can feel it already.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

'Tis the most wonderful time of year...for me, that is. Superstition and fear. Ghouls and monsters prowl the streets. Ahhh...it warms my heart. I thought I'd have a look around Steelhead and found a residual haunting taking place...
The words "Stay Out" have never particularly bothered me...I know an infestation when I see one...But the Elf had the blackest heart of us all...Back at the warehouse, I was having my own problems. Not only had my squiddy thing mutated again, but someone did not read the sign...or did they? I called The Elf and The Sheriff to investigate as something seems rather amiss here--even for me. My poor squiddy thing...
A Happy Halloween to you too?

to be continued...

Spooky Stories in Steelhead

I rather enjoy spooky stories, so I put down my wrench for a moment and left the lab to hear some at the Steelhead Ballroom last night. I rather cackled at Mr Otoole's "dog oil" story by Ambrose Bierce and enjoyed the other readings as well. Alright, back to work for me!

Thinking

Many of Steelhead's residents were away recently and although I should have taken over the town in a swift, bloodless (or maybe not) coup that could have involved automatons and a touch of chaos, I chose not to. First, because I just don't feel like rebuilding the warehouse quite yet, and second, because I don't feel like The Redhead giving me a reason to rebuild the warehouse quite yet. In the meantime, I walked over to the Town Hall lockup to chat with Willard, who commented upon the fact that I was not knee-high. "'Twas only a choice for convenience to be this form today Rat," I said to him as he squeaked a chuckle. "You know the deal I made." I moved aside some papers and other effects on Fuzz's desk and had a seat as we chatted. Rodentspeak is a much more complex language than it seems at times... I know I have been "quiet" again as of late, as I have had "business" to attend to. After all, one does not get to be the regional head of a shadowy organization by leaving such things undone. The nature of it I shall not go more into it. 'Twas a bit unsavory and a lot uncomfortable for the parties involved. I left Willard to his plate of cheese and rants about traps and headed across the way to the main meeting room. As I perched upon the main podium, I thought "Hmm...I need to have a little chat with Mr Quan." 'Tis a rare thing when I smile.