Machinations of an Evil Tiny Kitty

Adopt A Cat Month

2010-06-25T16:49:00.004-04:00

Yes, I recognize that it is now the end of June and I was rather slow to speak of this, but June is Adopt A Cat Month.

I was rather lucky in that I grew up with a human that loved me and my family, as well as the other felines and animals of her household. But many other felines have not been so lucky and end up in shelters. Lest someone say that I have gone soft, to me it means ~~more minions~~! I mean ~~happy complacent humans~~!

I mean, oh...you get what I mean! You may also find out more about how you can give a good kitty a home, or visit your local shelter, ASPCA or Humane Society.

The kitty revolution will not be telegraphed.

Willard's Roommate

2010-06-18T21:53:00.002-04:00

I thought I would stop by and check in on Willard the Jail Rat. I was most surprised to see that there was another rodent in his cell. A roommate perhaps? What is its name? I thought Willard did not like others in his cell with him. A rat loner.

It was most chatty in a Chester kind of way. It was rather hard to keep from eating him as he looked quite appetizing. I asked him how he was enjoying his new abode and he simply said "There are not enough things to gnaw on, and you know how we rats like to gnaw things!"

Oh, for Bastet's sake.

Stirring the Pot

2010-06-11T10:29:00.001-04:00

Yes, I've been away for a while. I had some...things to tend to. I am just glad that the minions kept the place in good order while I was gone.

They better have...

I Know the Feeling...

2010-03-26T15:12:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know how this feels...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Thinking About...Ada Lovelace

2010-03-24T18:22:00.004-04:00

Today I was thinking about Lady Ada Lovelace, a fellow female of technology and a bit of a role model to me. I met her once during my travels with my adventurer-inventor father as a very young kitten and curled up nearby, listening to her theories about the latest this and that. The person she was talking to seemed rather bored, but I was enthralled. I am most sure that we would have gotten along rather swimmingly and her thoughts on my latest doom rays, automatons and mechanical wonders would have been much appreciated.

That Babbage on the other hand...I don't know how she dealt with him on a regular basis. I hope she had a doom ray on stun nearby to pop him when he became too insufferable.

A Valentine for...ME?

2010-02-10T14:45:00.003-05:00

It seems The Demon put a valentine in the latest edition of The Primgraph magazine for me. I do believe that I am flattered and rather tickled by the picture of the fishie with it. Speaking of fishies, the ones he gave me a while ago are doing quite well and provide a regular source of snacks.

Winter in Steelhead

2010-01-24T08:51:00.001-05:00

I gave my neighbor two paws up for this one during the recent snow in Steelhead...

Parcel Rights for Sale to the Caledon Lab--SOLD

2010-01-22T08:23:00.003-05:00

**SOLD. Thank you for your interest!**

I have given it much thought and have decided to sell the rental rights to my lab in Caledon Tamrannoch.

It is a 1024 parcel, single prim supporting 234 prims. You would continue to pay rent to Desmond Shang at 375L/wk (1500L/month). I originally paid 10K for it a year and a half ago, but I will ask for only 2000L or best offer.

It is somewhat close to the hub and the Sanitorium is behind you, in case things get a little crazy. Do feel free to contact me if you are interested. It is located here if you would like to take a look:

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Caledon%20Tamrannoch/154/81/22

A Day at the Dog Park

2010-01-21T08:49:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I like to walk over to the dog park and mess with the canines. What the...is this one sniffing me??!!!Doom rays on "stun" work wonders...

Rather Damp in There I Say

2010-01-18T09:07:00.000-05:00

Miss Burton's houseboat seems to have sunk into the harbor. I had nothing to do with this one...

What Does THAT Do?

2010-01-15T15:00:00.003-05:00

While roaming Port Harbor today, I found a big red button saying "Do Not Touch" in The Redhead's lab. You would think, given the various and assorted things that I own that say that same thing, that I would know better...Oh my...RUN!!!!

I Almost Forgot

2010-01-07T14:01:00.002-05:00

I almost forgot. I know that it is after the holidays, but my minions' gingerbread rendition of the Port Harbor warehouse won 2nd place in the contest. I snuck in later and took a bite out of the winner's.

Yes, I am that petty.

Happy New Year...Well, Not TOO Happy

2010-01-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

And so a new year at the Lab begins...

Ask ETK: Flushed Away

2009-12-27T08:55:00.003-05:00

Dear Evil Tiny Kitty,

My kitty Raven is obsessed with watching the toilet flush. Whenever I go to flush it, if she can get into the restroom she will run in and hop up on the seat and watch as it flushes down. Why?

Signed,
Porcelain God

Dear Porcelain God,

For some kitties, the siren call of the swirling water is too much for them. The strange white monster makes the noise, but then--wonder of all wonders--the water goes round and round. It disappears and then it is calmly back again. Where does it go to? Is it magic? Why...does...it...swirl? Those are questions many kitties ask themselves. I, for one, have no interest in seeing human waste matter swirling away.

Ew.

Perhaps your kitty has the same *cough* "quirk" as this one:

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Merriment and Mirth for the Holidays

2009-12-25T08:48:00.000-05:00

A good holiday to you and yours from Evil Tiny Kitty Laboratories...

Thinking About...Ebenezer Scrooge

2009-12-24T08:17:00.001-05:00

I always appreciated Ebenezer's way of thinking: Sticking to his convictions and keeping his minion Cratchit in line, all while shaking his fist in defiance at the world. After all, is that much coal for warmth in the office really necessary? And his stance on workhouses and how to decrease the "surplus population" of the poor? Legendary.

So when I heard that he had been "reformed" I headed over to his place of business to see for myself. His minion Crachit was as chipper as ever, much to my annoyance. However, it was seeing Ebenezer being so "perky" himself that made my kitty stomach turn ever so slightly.

As I sipped my tea I asked him about his recent change of his ways and what brought it about. "Four ghosts? Really?" I asked. "Are you sure you hadn't been sipping much that evening?" He insisted he had not and said that he even saw his old partner Mr Marley. "My God man, what was in your gruel?" I asked. I offered him the name of some experts in spirit removal--as well as that of a psychiatrist--but he declined, saying he was a reformed man. I told him that I would miss our scowling contests (he usually won). He said that I should try being nice, I might like it, to which I said only one word:

"Humbug."

A Rather Interesting Rez Day

2009-12-21T23:59:00.002-05:00

I ventured out of the Lab to particpate in Steelhead's Holiday Storytelling Festival and perform my "12 Days of Mad Scientist Christmas" to an appreciative audience...
Lest anyone think I am anti-holiday, I rather enjoy the season and the prospect of gifts of fishies, mice, and doom rays. Not to mention sharks in tanks...sharks not in tanks. It warms my heart, but not as much as the coal I seem to receive instead. My Hidden Paw colleague, ChairmanMe Yowman was there, and engaged The BunnyElf in a round of fisticuffs...I attended the dance afterwards with music presenter Diamanda Gustafson, whose snowflakes were in the form of skulls. I was thrilled. She was also wearing a rather interesting hat...I normally do not like dances, but I checked the calendar and realized it was my rez day. Another year of dodging enemies and friends and I am still here to tell the tale!

Holiday Recitation of the 12 Days of Steampunk Mad Scientist Christmas

2009-12-20T12:41:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow, do come out as I shall be ~~caterwauling~~ singing my "12 Days of Steampunk Mad Scientist Christmas" song at the Steelhead Holiday Storytelling Festival. It will be held from 5 - 7 pm SLT at the Steelhead Library Gardens in Steelhead City. I go on at 6:30.

The Elf was so kind as to recite it for me last year. I shall spare him this time. For those of you who would like to follow along, I am reprinting my lyrics here:

The 12 Days of Steampunk Mad Scientist Christmas
by Malegatto Alter

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...a tock lobster in the warehouse
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...two Tesla coils
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...three brass cogs
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...four rubber gloves
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...FIVE BIG AIRSHIPS!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...six mobs a yelling
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...seven folks a screaming
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...eight rats a running
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...nine minions missing
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...ten labs a burning
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...eleven beakers bubbling
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...twelve diff'rence engines

And for the fun of it, my version of "The Christmas Song"...

"Minions falling into an open fire
Police breaking down your door...
Brass robots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to beep tonight..."

Yes Cato, there really is a Santa Claws. See you all tomorrow.

Wandering St Helens

2009-12-19T23:21:00.000-05:00

I had some, ahem, "business" to take care of recently so I was away for a while. Upon my return, I thought that I would explore St Helens, Steelhead's latest sim. It seems to be rather rustic...I don't know about all of this fresh air and "nature". Yes, the snow was fluffy and white and I wished to pounce and leap through it, but I heard there are bears about in these parts. Then again, it would be quite the silly bear who would come too close to me...
I did climb the mountain to add my flag to the other "claims"...

The Elf Made Me Do It

2009-12-05T11:09:00.000-05:00

Many of the children from Babbage have recently immigrated to Steelhead and are staying in Miss Razor's hostel in Boomtown. These little humans seem to be a rather lively lot and are very intrigued by my squiddy thing. I would much advise them to behave regarding it, lest it sees them as "snacks." One of these scamps had become lost in the woods the other week and injured himself quite badly. Dr Beck, who is our resident physician was unavailable when a distress call from them for help came out.

"Are you not a doctor?" The Elf inquired. I rolled my eyes and muttered that I could care less as it was the boy's own fault and his leg should fall off or something for his idiotic roamings. After all, what is a mangled hand or black lung here or there when it comes to them?

"But DR Alter...this is a child," The Elf implored. Did he not hear what I think of them--with their germs and tail-pulling, bear hugging ways? "I would imagine that working for you is rather hazardous. The minions injure themselves all of the time. You must have something?"

With thoughts of dealing with The Redhead and her arsenal in my head, I went over to the hostel with the first aid kit the minions cobbled together. I sighed and cursed under my breath that it was The Elf that asked me to help. Hmph. He could probably hear me complaining from sims away with those ears. I had a right mind to just toss the aid kit at them and keep going, but much to their gratitude, I patched the young miscreant up. After a threat, I departed...running right into The Elf upon my leaving. I could see the big smile on his face and scowled.

"Aw, I knew you could never do anything bad!" he said, very much to my chagrin.

I told him to keep an eye on his house...and his hair.

Squiddy Thing Back to "Normal"

2009-11-23T09:50:00.000-05:00

I have been watching Squiddy carefully since his recent expulsion of the gent he had digested. It seems to be recovering a bit nicely and has taken to waving about once more.

I should probably set out the ham again, just in case, so that one of the scamps do not end up inside next.

Steam Willard is Out

2009-11-22T09:08:00.000-05:00

I set out the larger version of Steam Willard the Rat at the warehouses, which reminds me that I must pay a visit to the live one.

Mmm...Mmm...Good?

2009-11-21T11:45:00.001-05:00

While taking my morning stroll around Port Harbor I walked down the the docks near the Navy headquarters and came upon this mother hen and her little chicks. I licked my fangs and thought that chicken would be nice for breakfast. I saw the seals, and considered making short work of the little one, but all of the fat in it probably would just come back to bite me in the end.

Automaton of the Week: 1850 Roullet & Decamps Kitties in a Milk Churn

2009-11-11T20:04:00.002-05:00

One is as it should be and the other is unrestored. I don't know which I love more: the fact that this 1850 Roullet & Decamps automaton is of kitties, or the crazy tinkling music...

You Must Be Jesting

2009-11-11T18:48:00.003-05:00

Although unusual incidents are not out of the ordinary in my line of work, I felt I had to do something about the gent in my squiddy thing. I most certainly was not going to cut him out of my poor squiddy. I had to come up with a solution that would not harm the creature, so I prepared a laxative elixir in the hopes that the fellow would be expelled. Let us just say that it worked...
Dr Beck came over to retrieve the body for an autopsy and such. I gave him a sample of the elixir just in case it was needed. He seemed a bit surprised at my saying that I was alright with the body staying inside as a warning to everyone else. Folks would definitely pay attention to the VERY LARGE sign then, don't you think?I was tossing some things into the incinerator when I heard news that another body had been found hanged in the mines...with a pamphlet of mine beside it. I mean really, this whole situation is becoming ridiculous. Wait...I have pamphlets?!

Ongoing Investigation

2009-11-09T14:31:00.005-05:00

Being a busy feline of science, I do not normally attend town meetings. However, I was there last week given the recent events at the warehouses. I thought that I would come and be among my fellow citizens, do my civic duty, deflect attention...oh, whatever. Let us just say that I do not hoooo. I couldn't have given a Willard's arse about attending under normal circumstances, but I was in the building anyway due to having been brought in for questioning by The Sheriff, with The Elf in attendance...
I've been to many questionings in my life. Many. This was no different, so 'twas a breeze for me. After all, despite my past "misunderstandings" and "accidents", this time I am actually innocent...
Posters have been placed about town with the missing chap on it. Despite the fact that I have been tempted many a time to do so, personally I am offended at the possibility that someone else would use my Squiddy as a human disposal system. My methods of dispatching someone are decidedly less...sloppy. The perpetrator had better hope that the Sheriff finds them before I do. I am going to go and sharpen my claws now...

Automaton of the Week: 1772 French Dulcimer Player

2009-11-04T08:53:00.000-05:00

How lovely this one is. 'Twas created in 1772 for Marie Antoinette. Do peruse this aethernet site for more information.

The Mystery of the Squiddy Thing

2009-11-01T08:24:00.000-05:00

Upon my return to the warehouse, I found a rather interesting sight. My squiddy thing had mutated yet again, and some poor chap was in its gullet! Normally, the minions and I would "take care" of something like this, but wondering if it was some hapless Steelhead resident who chose to ignore my sign, I contacted the authorities...
Cato and I stood by watching as the Sheriff examined the squiddy thing. Neither he nor The Elf recognized the gentleman and suggested that we put out a poster. Fuzz's concern was that not only had the mutation been triggered, but that perhaps this was no accident. This man was either lured to it or murdered elsewhere and placed there! Only an autopsy could tell and we would have to have one done first. He mentioned something about blood on the property and such, but that is not an abnormal occurrence here. As he was in his lycan form, he stooped to get a closer look, his tail swishing against the ground. It was all that I could do to not to pounce upon it... The Sheriff sniffed the air, trying to catch a scent and to his surprise, he could not. Wolfsbane. "Rather good timing on their part," I said, mentioning the time of year and the heightened superstition among the folks...My property was cordoned off, but due to certain unknowns regarding the squiddy thing's digestive system, the body can not be easily extracted. Of course, as it happened on my property and I seem to have a bit of a "reputation", things seem to be pointing to me right now. I see a questioning in my future. Hmph. I am more discreet than this. If I did this, do you think I would have called them over to come see? Well now Steelhead, it seems we officially have a mystery going on...To follow along or join in the mystery, you can start with The Sheriff's official posting here. This is going to be an interesting month...I can feel it already.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2009-10-31T12:05:00.003-04:00

'Tis the most wonderful time of year...for me, that is. Superstition and fear. Ghouls and monsters prowl the streets. Ahhh...it warms my heart. I thought I'd have a look around Steelhead and found a residual haunting taking place...
The words "Stay Out" have never particularly bothered me...I know an infestation when I see one...But the Elf had the blackest heart of us all...Back at the warehouse, I was having my own problems. Not only had my squiddy thing mutated again, but someone did not read the sign...or did they? I called The Elf and The Sheriff to investigate as something seems rather amiss here--even for me. My poor squiddy thing...
A Happy Halloween to you too?

to be continued...

Spooky Stories in Steelhead

2009-10-29T23:50:00.000-04:00

I rather enjoy spooky stories, so I put down my wrench for a moment and left the lab to hear some at the Steelhead Ballroom last night. I rather cackled at Mr Otoole's "dog oil" story by Ambrose Bierce and enjoyed the other readings as well. Alright, back to work for me!

Automaton of the Week: The Workshop of François Junod

2009-10-28T08:14:00.000-04:00

Mr. Junod is an artist who creates and restores incredible automatons in his workshop in Switzerland. The following cinema piece is in French, but 'tis worth a watch for the inner workings and the gent at work. I do so love to see the workshops of others...

Thinking

2009-10-26T08:54:00.000-04:00

Many of Steelhead's residents were away recently and although I should have taken over the town in a swift, bloodless (or maybe not) coup that could have involved automatons and a touch of chaos, I chose not to. First, because I just don't feel like rebuilding the warehouse quite yet, and second, because I don't feel like The Redhead giving me a reason to rebuild the warehouse quite yet. In the meantime, I walked over to the Town Hall lockup to chat with Willard, who commented upon the fact that I was not knee-high. "'Twas only a choice for convenience to be this form today Rat," I said to him as he squeaked a chuckle. "You know the deal I made." I moved aside some papers and other effects on Fuzz's desk and had a seat as we chatted. Rodentspeak is a much more complex language than it seems at times... I know I have been "quiet" again as of late, as I have had "business" to attend to. After all, one does not get to be the regional head of a shadowy organization by leaving such things undone. The nature of it I shall not go more into it. 'Twas a bit unsavory and a lot uncomfortable for the parties involved. I left Willard to his plate of cheese and rants about traps and headed across the way to the main meeting room. As I perched upon the main podium, I thought "Hmm...I need to have a little chat with Mr Quan." 'Tis a rare thing when I smile.

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Kill Them With Cute

2009-10-24T08:20:00.001-04:00

This one is for The Elf, who seems to be under the spell of its cuteness like so many others. Powers like that can not possibly be good!!!!

Thinking About...Abe Van Helsing

2009-10-22T09:36:00.003-04:00

This time of the year always make me reflect upon the many unusual creatures and beings I have encountered through the years, not to mention the personalities that seem to obsess a bit about them. Made me think about a colleague of mine, an obscure pathologist chap by the name of Abe Van Helsing. I had him over for a spot of tea and he told me an odd tale of a young socialite woman with a rather unusual condition. Something about bite marks and blood loss. "That is quite a mosquito, sir!" I said. He chuckled, being rather a dry wit, and showed me this picture, saying that he was about to travel to Transylvania to confront this man. "Oh my," I said, "So you are saying that you believe that he has been undead since the 15th century?" He nodded, leaned a little too close to me and asked if I had any advice.

"My advice? Keep on eating all of that garlic you've been consuming lately. That should keep everyone away!"

Automaton of the Week: 19th c. Japanese writing kanji

2009-10-21T16:46:00.003-04:00

Fascinating, given its age. Look at its mechanisms. It makes me feel "Ooo.."

My, What Lovely Spinning Gears and Such...

2009-10-09T07:59:00.000-04:00

Spinning gears make me happy. Very happy...

A Restorative Soup and a Turkey Flock

2009-10-01T20:32:00.003-04:00

I paid a visit to Willard today. After all, I must keep my Rodent language practice going. He squeaked with laughter over a "Steam Willard" winning a trophy in the recent build contest and mused about if he was made of metal and all of the things that he would do. "First of all, I would bet it'd be good at gnawing!" he said. "After all, rats are good at gnawing things!" I groaned...
And for the love of Bastet do not tell Willard about the bowl of rattail soup that I left at The Elf's home. My minions did manage to whip up a pot of it from an old family recipe of mine. It is said to cure all ills--or create new ones. I can not quite remember... I realized that The Elf's garden seemed to be teeming with rather large gobbling turkeys. I cackled a bit as they came closer. Yes, my gobblers...closer...
I thought I'd sit in my chair back at the warehouse and think about my idea a bit more...

I Don't Think This Is a Butterfly...

2009-09-30T13:56:00.003-04:00

I caught this while out in the world last night. I thought it was a butterfly at first...

The Elf made me spit it out and it protested so much afterwards, that I gave it to him as a "gift." He said they tend to bite so he put it under a jar.

Oh My...I Have a Trophy

2009-09-29T23:26:00.000-04:00

Well now...it seems my chupacabra creature won first place in its category in the Harvest Festival Steampunk Animal building contest in Steelhead...I had a moment to chat with The Elf about it and he was rather pleased with the entries, which I will admit, were rather interesting. The Elf himself has been feeling a bit poorly of late. Perhaps I can get the minions to prepare some rattail soup for him? I promise that it will not have any "extra" ingredients. *coughs*

Surveying the Place

2009-09-20T12:20:00.001-04:00

Hmm...I suppose I am getting used to the look of the giant bolt in the front. It adds a certain "flair" to the warehouse.

Mason Labs Destroyed...FINALLY

2009-09-15T14:53:00.006-04:00

There...is...a...BOLT...stuck...in...my...warehouse!!! The Elf came over and and we both looked upwards at the large piece sticking out of my smokestack. "That is...massive," he said. "That is one big nut." I must have inherited some of my father's love of crass humor as I could not help but laugh despite the fact that we were standing among rubble. He offered to remove it for me, as it is supposedly "active", but I said to leave it. I am a feline of science and this is a lab and warehouse--not an "oh-so-delightfully pretty" Victorian house...
The last time I saw Mason Labs, it was still intact. I had made a pact with them not to destroy it (or let my minions burn it to the ground) although sorely tempted to do so on many an occasion...
Last night I found it in ruins, the building's remnants smoldering......and its parts strewn across Steelhead Port Harbor from the force of the explosion...The Elf had told me that only the so-called "Jeremiah" had been injured. If he is a Mason as he claims, then he should be fine. Those Masons are quite a resilient lot. I had also inquired as to the canines in Miss Davies' Dog Park across from it. When told that they were fine despite the pieces in their midst, I could only say "Pity." When I went over to see for myself, some ran over to greet me. EW. I feel so dirty now.

19th c. Sewing Automaton

2009-09-15T09:16:00.003-04:00

I do so love automatons. This lovely one named Nancy "sews" and was made in the late 19th c. of papier-mache. She was driven by a hand crank under the stage. For those of you who love gears and springs and inner workings as much as I do, peruse the aether site of the UK workshop that restored her. Fantastic work.

A Building Contest

2009-09-14T14:13:00.002-04:00

Hmm...it seems Steelhead is having a delightfully twisted take on a state fair blue ribbon contest: A Steampunk Build Contest for livestock, poultry and "other" animals!

I do believe I shall participate. I have until the 23rd to submit my entry. I suppose if others wish to participate as well, they need to let the Elf know before the 18th.

*cackles* Must get to work then! Where's my wrench?

Ask ETK: Love Nips

2009-08-31T09:18:00.000-04:00

Dear Evil Tiny Kittty,

Why does Frank nip me when I am minding my own business on the computer?

Signed,
Trying This Again

Dear Trying This Again,

How many times do I have to tell you that this handsome fellow can do no wrong?

Frank, you can nip me instead. Telegraph me.

Your human? Quit writing me already...

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

To-Do List

2009-08-27T18:07:00.004-04:00

I sat at the warehouse and thought about all of the things on my to-do list:

~~Reprimand minions~~
~~Use a minion as an example~~
~~Order new beakers~~
Get the doom ray out of the shop
~~Feed the squiddy thing~~
Write letter of demands to The Elf
~~Threaten my enemies~~
~~Threaten my friends~~
~~Assess lair for weaknesses~~
~~Reprimand minions if weaknesses are found~~
Invent a "fire extinguisher"

An evil genius' work is never done...

My, What Large Wings You Have

2009-08-24T16:40:00.006-04:00

I rarely attend social events in Steelhead as I am usually quite busy off tending to business or working in the laboratory. I thought I would take my customary walk through Steelhead and came upon the Friday night dance at the Capital City dock. I hesitated to go at first, pausing and ready to walk back to the warehouses. At the last moment, I changed my mind and was sitting there quietly on a crate watching the others when I smelled a familiar scent. I looked over and the purple-haired demon had seated himself nearby. I was surprised to see Chronos, as the last I knew he had been taken away. He asked me to dance and we had an interesting conversation.

If you have regularly perused this journal, then you know that I have participated in my share of campaigns and assorted underhanded schemes and such, but I do not get to chat about them much. After all, I am not a Siamese kitty, I know when to be quiet about those matters. I will admit that it was rather nice to talk with someone that did not seem to mind the rather questionable things that I have done and was also impervious to my sharp claws. We spoke of his confinement and he explained to me that he had been rescued. He is a most intriguing demon, not like any of the others that I have met before and especially not like that one, from so long ago.

Oh stop. 'Twas just a dance. If anything, my mother will be happy to know that the money spent on my dancing lessons was not in vain.

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Wakey, Wakey...

2009-08-21T12:14:00.002-04:00

When will the humans learn that we wake up quite early and like them to serve us then as well? The efforts we must go through...

Willard the Rat: Ruinin' Good Cheese

2009-08-20T12:07:00.007-04:00

I went to visit Willard the Rat today. Seems the cell was freshly washed before I came, so I sat down to listen to him. "Do try to not be as longwinded as usual," I said. "The minions get into things when I am away."

His beady eyes glittered a bit before he said, "Aw, shut yer trap cat. I'm not 'longwinded", I've just got plenty to say."

"No doubt about that," I muttered to myself.

"I'm right here, ya know," he said, his little ears twitching. "Anyways, I got a story for you today involving excitement, adventure, and cheese."

"Cheese?," I said, rolling my eyes. "Oh, for Bastet's sake, I should've known."

He laughed his squeaking laugh and continued, ignoring me. "Well, you remember the two guys that I helped escape, right? Turns out they were the McGillicuddy Brothers, outlaws and general public menaces. Of course, I didn't care about all that given that I was fed quite well. All the stuff I could handle. The tall one--Sean--took care of me pretty well. He also usually had to take care of his younger brother Patrick, who was kind of reckless."

"It was kind of an exciting time for a young rat like me. There was something about riding the horses into a new town. Always the same: Folks comin' out and watchin' us go by, the men of the town scowlin' and lookin' like they want to grab their weapons. The sheriff at some point would make sure that we knew he was there. The ladies just looked. Everyone stayed outta our way. Always the same."

"Well, we stopped in this small town and went straight to the lodgings there. The man didn't ask any questions. Just took our money, told us when mealtime was, and handed over our room keys. The lady was a whole other story. Upon seeing me perched on Sean's shoulder she started screamin'. I mean, she would not shut up. Her husband's tryin' to hush her and all, but she wouldn't shut up. She finally calmed down and asked for a moment to freshen up our rooms a bit more. The brothers looked at one another and shrugged. 'Won't be too long,' she said, and hurried off."

"A few minutes later we went on into the room and I started to sniff. The Brothers noticed the cheese first and looked at one another. Patrick went on over and sniffed it and started cussin' in another language. I started to hop down from Sean's shoulder, but realized the cheese smelled a little funny. He held onto me and said, 'Not this time, friend. It's got a l'il extra on it that can kill ya.' I figured out what he meant and it was my turn to start cussin'."

"The Brothers turned right on around and hightailed it outta there. We hopped on their horses and I think it's safe to say they did a bit of damage that night. 'Nobody messes with Willard!' they yelled as they tore through town, leaving a trail of mayhem behind 'em. Darn straight! Ruinin' a good piece of cheese like that!"

Willard looked me square in the eye and said, "Nobody oughtta ruin cheese."

Oh...my...

Ode to a Gasworks

2009-08-19T13:35:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, as I stood before the now destroyed and much-despised gasworks in Steelhead City, I composed a little poem:

O gasworks, trees you did consume
Hated thing you were
With your gears and noise and saws
Amidst idyllic Steelhead green.

Those naysayers to progress
Adverse to soot
With their fresh air, clean living ways
A problem-solving "storm".

Such rubble, all about in ruins
Still now are your blades
Know all, there is only forward
Industry marches on!

Rodent...It's What's for Dinner

2009-08-18T10:28:00.000-04:00

I'm sure that if you are a regular reader of this aethernet journal, then you know about my love of a hearty rat stew or mouseheads lightly drizzled with anchovy oil. While you lily-stomached types recoil in disgust, it is quite a savory dish in feline circles. Seems that in some human circles, rodents make a lovely meal as well, as seen in the recipes mentioned HERE.

Oh, never fear...Willard and Chuckles are safe. I think those two would be a bit...tough to digest. Chester, on the other hand, is one word too many towards making his way into a simmering pot!

Oh My...A Tower...

2009-08-15T09:07:00.000-04:00

Oh my...a fancy wasserturm? As the saloon is now gone, I suppose this is the Elf's doing...
I could not resist going in and climbing up its stairs towards the top...Of course, upon reaching the highest point and looking down I could not help but to think of how far down it was and how there are some folks that I...haaaa...Now now, my good folks, I would never do such a thing! If one simply "loses their balance", I could not possibly be at fault for their clumsiness?

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: "Hate" is Such An Ugly Word...

2009-08-14T10:24:00.000-04:00

...but sometimes, it seems to sum things up quite well...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Willard the Rat Meets Chester the Mouse

2009-08-13T22:26:00.004-04:00

Thought I'd stop by to visit with Willard the Jail Rat today. He muttered something about how long it'd been since my last visit and I set the tray of fresh cheese down for him. He started to launch into one of those stories of his when he yelled "What the heck do ya have there in yer mouth?! It better not be what I think it is!"
I had forgotten about Chester and calmly stopped chewing on him. I spat him out and held him up delicately with my claws by the end of his tail. "Wellhellotheresir! HowareyouI'mChesterandyouare... Ohwowyouliveinajail?Isitfun?Doyoumeetprisoners?Doyouwanttoescape? Oooooo...cheese!"Willard stopped dead in his tracks and stared long and hard at both of us..."On second thought," he said. "Keep on doin' what you were doin'..."

Hmm...Getting Better at This Full Moon Thing...

2009-08-07T08:13:00.001-04:00

I think I am beginning to be getting a bit better at controlling this. Although my mind felt "swirly", I seemed to weather the werecat change more so than before...However, to be safe, I still barricaded myself in the warehouse last night to tough it out. We remember what happened last time...

Contemplations on Past Campaigns

2009-08-04T08:20:00.000-04:00

I have mentioned that I have been slacking a bit lately while here in Steelhead. Perhaps it is all of that godawful fresh air, the nice demons, the things to keep me occupied otherwise...who knows? Hmm...I have not been away for a while...perhaps this would be a good time after the full moon occurs. God, I would hate to travel during that time of the month.

If I managed to destroy one home under pretty normal circumstances more or less, can you imagine if I was actually "up to something" Hmm...*cackles*

Wait...are the fish nipping my tail?! Oh, I know what I'm having for dinner tonight!

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Yes, Hiding is GOOD

2009-07-31T09:20:00.000-04:00

A minion after my own heart...I do like how they think...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

See...I Was Good

2009-07-20T16:53:00.004-04:00

The entire town of Steelhead was away at the Relay for Life this weekend.

I was rather good and although quite an opportune time to do so, chose not to level the place.

Let the natural order of things now return to normal.

Gone Underground...

2009-07-17T11:14:00.001-04:00

When one is involved in such doings and goings-on as myself, one never knows when a speedy getaway is necessary. I thought I would reacquaint myself with the tunnels that run below the town...Hmm...where does this passageway lead to?
The Elf has been rather busy, I see...
I nimbly made my way past all of the rock and debris and around all of the passageways. Hmm...many possibilities...

A New Saloon in Boomtown

2009-07-16T12:52:00.003-04:00

I shall talk more about my underground explorations of Steelhead tomorrow, but I got wind of Miss Gia's opening a new saloon in Boomtown. I like my places a bit rough and out of the way (the better to meet more "unsavory" characters), so after I climbed out of the tunnels I thought I would take a look. I settled in for a good conversation with her and Mrs. Peterman, who also joined us for a moment. I promised not to eat Mrs. Peterman's shoulder peep...Like me, being "human" is not Miss Gia's true form...So when she offered me a ride above Steelhead, how could I resist?She did promise me that she would not burn or squish anything (or anyone) unless I was present to see it. I do so like a good stomp 'n' squoosh!

19th c. Airship and Balloon Broadside Announcements

2009-07-12T16:50:00.003-04:00

I do so love the repository of knowledge that is the U.S. Library of Congress. While perusing its aethernet offerings, I came across the wonderful Tissandier collection of French and British broadsides with airship and balloon ascension announcements. Do enjoy.

Thinking About Vic Frankenstein...

2009-07-11T08:52:00.002-04:00

I was thinking about Victor today. When he created his Monster, it was the culmination of years of what one could call obsessive research and experimentation in the obscure alchemical arts. He talked about it incessantly. "My creation" this and that. I would just politely sip my tea and nod. However, once made, the fool went and abandoned it, leaving the sentient creature wandering aimlessly with pretty much nothing better than to have alienation and revenge on its mind--eventually picking off Vic's loved ones one-by-one. When he sent me a letter saying he was going to the Arctic to deal with it once and for all, I could only shake my head. "My God man," I sent back by way of reply. "Some people should never be allowed to reproduce. Do pack warm clothes though, as I hear it is quite brisk there."

Happy Birthday Mr. Tesla

2009-07-10T15:05:00.003-04:00

Happy birthday to Mr Nikola Tesla, innovative "mad scientist" and an inspiration to steampunks everywhere! This is an 1899 photo of him in his Colorado Springs laboratory...what wonderful sparks!

"Kaboom!" Or, "How I Singed My Whiskers"

2009-07-08T14:48:00.005-04:00

I could only stand and wait on the warehouse roof as the full moon rose over Port Harbor, its waters covered in a light fog. I ran a claw through my unpinned hair and sighed, resigned to the fact that I was very likely forever changed by that regeneration serum that saved my life many months ago. I probably would have been better off if I had been allowed to Transition instead and move on to my fifth life. Although knowing the Masons, I should just be glad it didn't make me grow an extra arm or some other unsightly aberration. It probably helps that parts of me are not...

Anyway, I have become more used to the physical changes such as the swiftness, strength, and keener senses than normal, but what it does to my mind? That, I seem to be unable to control very well. On these werecat nights, my normal ability to keep my emotions in check becomes negated and everything becomes a swirling confusing whirl of emotion and instinct combined...
Since I have been in Steelhead, I have been quiet. I have made no campaigns of late. No machinations as normal. That is...unlike me...and I am sure that I will be hearing from my Hidden Paw superiors soon. I know that this is not what they want of their Western Fang. I expect a missive at any time. My mind has not been here though. I have had other thoughts on it as of late. I wondered about the fate of the purple-haired demon who brought me fish and something kicked in.

I hissed and jumped down from my perch and rummaged through the warehouse until I found what I was looking for. Moving swiftly through the dark Steelhead streets, most of its residents now quiet or asleep after the town meeting earlier, my strength accorded to me for just this one night made carrying my burden even easier. I stopped before The Elf's home, my muddled mind enraged at the thought that he possibly had a hand in his demon brother being taken away. It made it even easier to toss what I carried onto his porch...I licked a fang, smiling with satisfaction as the brass chicken did its work. A bit of something from a minor kerfluffle in Kentucky (something to do with a renegade Colonel), I knew it'd come in handy. When I was sure that the house was in a smouldering rubble, I thought I would return to the warehouse. I needed to lie down now. My head, it felt so wrong...I heard the shouts of "Fire!" and "Oh no, my good china!" as I slipped away. I did notice one unusual thing though--despite the destruction of her home, Miss Tensai seemed to be taking it all in relatively resourceful feline stride...

Obolenskidonia...Ahh...Smell the Oppression

2009-07-02T20:27:00.004-04:00

I, like all aspirational, ambitious types of a certain "ilk", enjoy seeing when one of us makes a move and takes over from the current government. With Mayor Tenk's absence, Babbage was ripe for such a thing. I have received missives and watched events unfold with interest there as Doc O unleashed his Lord Smashingtons and took Babbage for himself...Ahhh...the wonderful smell of oppression...But of course, there are always some folks who just do not appreciate the new, wonderful changes...
Ugh...resistance fighters. Bane of a dictator's existence. Oh, how they vex one so...I have heard that tonight will determine whether the Obolensky regime falls. We shall see...

New Product Release: Mad Scientist Trash Bin

2009-06-30T12:10:00.003-04:00

The refuse from those experiments has to go somewhere. In a solid metal bin. I'm sure other mad scientists and evil geniuses will agree. And don't worry...I have my own contractor who comes to take it away. In the meantime, it is filled with all sorts of miscellaneous things that I have created--some with full perms to be used in your own experiments, some not. If you peer inside, there is a glass coil, an Ehrlenmeyer flask, a radioactive glowing orb, a barrel, a crate of rubber gloves, a large cog, and a can of Krazy Kat Kibble. It comes with the empty bin and a display version with everything inside.

Taking Notes on Elven Experiments and Observations

2009-06-28T11:59:00.001-04:00

Last week, I attended a salon in Babbage about the magickal creatures we know as fae/fey. I do find it interesting that two of the main Steamlands regions are governed by them--The Elf (Lunar) of Steelhead and Mayor Tenk of Babbage. Tenk seemed to be in a bubble. I kept looking at my claws and back at him, sorely tempted...
The Redhead (Tensai) was there to speak more about her experiments upon her husband to see what makes him tick. Now that's what I'm interested in! As a feline of science, I queried if there was a conflict between science and the magickal. She believes magick to be the sciences unexplained...I will tell you one thing--her examination ray is rather fantastic. I should like to get my paws upon one...

Ask ETK: Garden Gnome Attacks

2009-06-20T07:57:00.001-04:00

Dear Evil Tiny Kitty,

I am having a problem with Scout again. Why does she keep attacking my garden gnome and breaking it?

Signed,
Broken

Dear Broken,

'Tis a garden gnome.

May I help her?? PLEASE?

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

1900 Automaton Kitty

2009-06-19T08:07:00.001-04:00

While perusing the aether cinematics, I found this one of a little 1900 Parisian automaton kitty in the process of being repaired. Hmm...a fuzzy clockwork kitty makes me think, "Mew, mew, ticktick, ZAP!"

Yessss...

A Most Unexpected Surprise

2009-06-18T12:15:00.003-04:00

I stretched as I woke up from my catnap and decided to take a walk around the grounds of the warehouse in Port Harbor, the wood feeling pleasantly cool beneath my paws. I sniffed the air and was confused until I saw it...someone had placed a rather large fishbowl in the corner of my lot--teeming with all of the fishies that I could handle! I tapped on the glass with a claw, watching them disperse and could not wait to dip a claw or two in there for a snack--after testing them for poison, of course. How delightful! I do not know what to make of this as I am not used to such acts of kindness directed towards me. How did it get there? Who could have left such a thing for me?
I went back upstairs to work on a formula when a scent once again caught my attention. I went out onto the walkway and looked below. "YOU!" I yelled, seeing the purple hair and wings and thinking of how sore my tail had been. I leaped down, landing gracefully on my feet beside him with my claws unsheathed...Chronos immediately apologized for hurting my tail, but what he said next surprised me more as he confessed that he was the one who brought me the fish. Had even fished for them himself! He even threatened the crate creature for me--who actually did pipe down for once. What kind of demon is he? Chronos is nothing like...no...I can not speak that name. I haven't since life number two so long ago.

That's enough. More than enough.

I am done writing for now...

On An Angry Mob's Good Side For Once

2009-06-16T19:41:00.005-04:00

Usually angry mobs mean a problem or botched experiment gone awry...whatever was I thinking when I agreed to go to a dance surrounded by pitchforks and torches the other night? And a purple demon stepped on my tail. As it still hurts a bit, I am going to try not to scratch him next time that I see him. Yes, I know...he's a demon. That won't do much good to him, but it'll make me feel good!

'Twas a bit of an enjoyable diversion though. Some seem to think I should get out more. That perhaps all of those fumes, chemicals and sparking wires are not altogether good for me. They should be more concerned about what is good for them, not me! I am an evil genius and criminal mastermind! I am supposed to be busy in my lab inventing things and plotting and scheming and lurking in the shadows! Anyway...I have some business that I need to handle soon. Something that I must go to a hidden place to retrieve--I mean, deal--with.

*mutters to herself and rubs her tail*

Yes, I Have a Theme Song: Skullcrusher Mountain by Jonathan Coulton

2009-06-13T19:36:00.009-04:00

I am used to being on the receiving end of them, but I thought I'd brave the pitchforks and torches and attend the angry mob-themed dance last night in Steelhead. While there, Sheriff Fuzz played a favorite song of mine that many agreed was rather...appropriate:

The lyrics are rather spot on. Did he get ahold of my journal somehow?

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Minion Potential

2009-06-12T08:26:00.000-04:00

Minions with such potential to slip away unnoticed like that are always of value!

A Dam Bandage? Really?

2009-06-10T15:46:00.000-04:00

Someone put a dam bandage on the dam. I mean, really, I would be more than happy to make those dam cracks ever so much wider...

*cackles*

Adventures in Babbage

2009-06-08T18:49:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I thought I would visit my minion Asrei in New Babbage and take a bit of a tour. Especially as much of the town seemed to be distracted by a soiree in the Vernian Sea. First, however, we thought we'd thoroughly look at the relatively new town hall there. We found its hydro-power system to be of much interest...Took a lift to the clocktower, where there was a small hammock. Just big enough for a gnome, I'd say. I noted the exits. Hmm...
While in the water-accessible basement, we examined the hydro-power source a bit further...
While walking along the pier, my minion's combustion weapon seemed to attract much attention from visitors and other looky-loos intrigued by its design. Asrei looked at me--as he was itching to burn something--and I nodded. He flipped a switch, pulled the trigger and whoosh! Ah, I do love fire so.
We even ran into a Babbage intelligence officer. I do prefer to stay under the radar, so it was good to not be a "person of interest"--at the moment. I must pay another visit to Babbage sometime soon. I find their citizens rather amusing.

Feline Transport

2009-06-05T08:24:00.001-04:00

The latest in automated feline transport. Surely something like this will come in handy (for me). I shall set my minions to work:

Mayhem's a Comin'

2009-05-25T08:12:00.000-04:00

Oh Steelhead, enjoy the peace and quiet while you can...

Plotting, Planning, Scheming...

2009-05-20T09:39:00.000-04:00

Minions, I shall be calling a meeting with you all soon. We have much to discuss. As for the rest of you? "Nothing" is afoot. Carry on...

*cackles*

A New Package Arrives

2009-05-18T15:27:00.003-04:00

I clapped my paws in glee as I prepared to open the large crate at the Port Harbor warehouse. Sometimes I arrange for items from past adventures and campaigns to be returned to me...I had it placed in Warehouse #1, as it is in need of repairs...If you are feeling a bit curious, then come through and have a look for yourself...

Well, Well, Well...

2009-05-16T11:06:00.003-04:00

Upon taking my walk through Steelhead recently, I came upon Miss Genie's farm in the corner of Harborside. I could not help but to look at her chicken coop. They are so plump and lovely and delicious-looking. I pulled out a doom ray and one even gave me an egg. Why thank you...And then, on the bridge was a most curious thing--a mechanical spider. Most certainly not one of mine. I checked for a maker's stamp somewhere, but alas...I could not find one. Who is leaving stray automatons about?

Willard the Rat: Striking Out for Adventure!

2009-05-14T15:38:00.006-04:00

As usual, I stopped by for my weekly visit with Willard the Steelhead Jail Rat. I set down the fresh cheese platter and some water and he promised to at least ask me before relieving me of my lindens this time. I got comfortable and he jumped right into his story:

"Well, I said my goodbyes to Rattus and the crew and decided to strike out on my own. I wanted to see what opportunities there were for a young handsome rat such as myself. Quit yer groanin' cat!"

I rolled my eyes and waved a paw at him, "Go on already."

"As I was saying, I made my way through the port and decided to hop on the first wagon going out of there. I didn't care where it was going. Adventure was in my future! Nibbled on their scraps and got water when I could when we stopped. We'd been travelling for quite a while when we finally came upon a small frontier town. I kind of liked it and we parted ways. Plenty of food for a rat like me. I noticed another wagon and hopped up into it.

I was poking around in the front before noticing the back had two dusty, mean-lookin' humans laying in it--one tall, one short--their hands tied with rope around their wrists. I sniffed closer and the tall one of 'em said "Hey now, rat...mind helping us out here a bit? We'll feed ya and you can come with us."

Willard stopped talking and looked at me. "Cat, are you groanin' again?!" he yelled. I couldn't help myself. "Oh for Bastet's sake Rat!" I yelled back. "Tell the blasted story!"

He glared at me and continued. "I freed 'em and they ended up getting ahold of some weapons and robbin' the town blind. I got to ride on their shoulders as they did it. Pretty exciting for a young rat like me. When they were in the clear, I got all the food I could handle. That was good eatin' I tell ya! His buddy asked him how'd he know I was gonna help. 'Easy,' the tall one said."

"Don't tell me Willard," I interrupted. "Because 'rats like to gnaw things.'"

Willard squeaked loudly as he chuckled. "Well now," he said through his laughter. "I think my rat humor's starting to rub off on ya!"

Oh, I most certainly hope not.

Not My Doing This Time

2009-05-13T23:13:00.000-04:00

The dam in Boomtown seems to have developed some cracks and water is pouring through. As tempting as it is to claim this one for myself, alas, I can not. I am so sorely tempted to make those cracks ever so slightly wider though...In the meantime, I ended up in the flooded mines. I know these tunnels under the city quite well now and there was something there that I needed to investigate. I ended up catching a little mousie that seemed to be trying to get out of the water...I shall not eat Chester, but I know that Chuckles will not like him at the lab in Tam. Hmm...I needed a new live chew toy...

Obolensky vs Burton Steelhead Trial Recap

2009-05-11T07:29:00.002-04:00

Miss Burton, the plaintiff, is a djinn who supposedly lost her powers......and blames the defendant, Doctor Obolensky, saying that one of his devices caused it to happen...
Doctor Mason was brought on as a witness and sworn in on a Torah, but having no body--wasn't allowed to be a witness. Did his own quack medicine and practices finally get the best of him?After a longwinded--and long in general--trial, Doctor O made quite the escape and Judge Broom found for the plaintiff, Miss Burton. I swear...what is the world coming to when we evil geniuses are to be dragged into the court like this?
Doctor O left his mark on the Town Hall roof. I, of course, believe that in Steelhead there can be only two evil geniuses...me, and The Redhead--who was not thrilled at all about either mark...
There was talk of his roaming the town in a giant crab. Oh, dear Bastet, did he have tock lobster envy or something? I do swear. I cleaned my claws and watched calmly as the townspeople ran about in a panic. I mean, after all...I think about levelling Steelhead on a regular basis, so this was merely amusing to me. If you feel like legal mumbojumbo, inappropriate leering, indignant old men, and other assorted crazinesses the trial transcript's available for your perusal.

Ask ETK: Love or Stabbing?

2009-05-03T08:05:00.001-04:00

Dear Evil Tiny Kitty,

Why does Mittens show love by laying on my lap but always tries to stab me in the thighs?

Signed,
Miss Invisible

Dear Miss Invisible,

When you sit on a cushioned chair, are you showing it love by sitting on it?

No.

You, my dear...are the chair. Try not to confuse yourself into thinking otherwise. The stabbing is just to keep the cushion, I mean, you from shifting and upsetting the delicate balance of relaxation and peaceful thoughts.

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Willard the Rat: A Tale of Two Kitties

2009-04-30T08:14:00.002-04:00

I missed my weekly visit with Willard last week due to that minor mishap with the electrical line, so I thought I'd stop by. The usual threats were exchanged, the cheese was set out and all and I think I fell asleep somewhere around "...And I told those two cats, you know--Buttons and Dribbles--that rats love to gnaw things..." All I heard was more "blahblahblah" and fell asleep. I woke up to his laughing--which sounds like a high-pitched squeaky wheeze--and his saying something about his rat humor being too much for me.

I checked my pockets before I left and a few of my Lindens were missing. After exchanging some more threats and baring my fangs and claws he grumbled something about violence and cats going hand in hand and begrudgingly gave them back. I mean, really...he lives in a jail. With no one else. What in the heck was he going to buy?

Oh nevermind, don't answer that.

2nd Annual Mad Scientist Convention!

2009-04-28T13:18:00.002-04:00

I received this missive recently and I am most excited...

"Caledon Steam SkyCity is proud to present the SSC 2nd Annual Mad Scientist Convention - SSC ReAnimated
May 2nd, 2009; 3pm and 5pm SLT

Has your research turned to archaic subjects?
Do your formulae come from ancient tomes as much as from modern journals?
Are you meddling in things Man was not meant to know?
From Frankenstein to Tesla, and from Flamel to Herbert West, some scientists cannot leave well enough alone.

Join us on Saturday, May 2nd at 3pm for the Speed Building Contest, Avatar contest entries must be received by 4pm with winners announced during the Mad Scientist's ReAnimation Ball starting at 5pm. There will be two build contests with a grand prize in each category and a dance in the evening.

*Unnatural Creation Avatar - Building starts now, with judging on the day of the convention. Create an avatar from scratch. Is it a murderous robot? A living Construct? Did you summon Cthulhu from a test tube? Let your imagination run wild, and show us that science really can "open strange doors." Avatars will be judged on creativity, quality, and fit with the theme. No parts from other avatars - must be wholly your own creation. Judging between 3pm and 4pm SLT.

*Speed build- one hour, theme related to "weird science practices" will be announced at the start of the contest. Building starts at 3pm, and stops at 4pm. Judging will be based on quality, originality, and how well it fits with the announced theme.

Do not let the narrow-minded views of fools and stagnant academics hinder you. This is Science!"

Haaaa! Science INDEED! I won "Best Rant" last year. Hmm...I do hope to be able to participate.

Evil Never Sleeps?

2009-04-26T07:16:00.001-04:00

Evil never sleeps?With one eye open and with security measures firmly in place! Personally, I like my beauty rest. Now shoo!

Evil Tiny Kitty of the Week: Start Them Young

2009-04-24T17:37:00.003-04:00

They will have a fine career in evil indeed!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

The Primgraph Death Rays Article

2009-04-17T13:32:00.004-04:00

Frau Annechen Lowey has written a rather amusing article about death rays in the first of her "Etiquette of the Steamlands" series for the Primgraph magazine that covers the historic sims. Although my usual idea of death ray etiquette is often "zap first, ask later" I found it a good read just the same.

Spring for an Evil Kitty

2009-04-15T12:41:00.003-04:00

Ah, Spring. A time of renewal. Flowers and trees and sunshine and such. As I reclined on the grass in front of the Lab, such fanciful thoughts went through my mind...
The sky was a lovely shade of blue and it was easy to pick out shapes in the clouds: knives, beakers, severed feet and whatnot. I even saw someone flying by in their air vehicle...I shall have to remember not to touch that particular power line again. I suppose the twitching will stop soon...perhaps...

A Willard Story: Rattus the Wimp & the Chorus Girls

2009-04-07T07:10:00.003-04:00

As you all may well know, I pay a weekly visit to Steelhead's most famous rodent, Willard the Jail Rat. Who else knows criminality better than someone used to society's underbelly? Besides, it helps improve my Rodentspeak. He finally told me his two middle names and his last one, but he says he has a reputation to maintain. He has a tendency towards being long-winded, but I threatened him I would bite him if he did that to me again, so he told this one instead:

"Well, there was me 'n' this ol' ship rat named Rattus..." he said.

"Rattus? Well, that's rather original..." I started to say.

"Don't start, ya rude feline, and lemme finish already," he said, his dark beady eyes glaring at me. I raised my paws in resignation.

"Anyways, there was this ol' ship rat named Rattus. He was always talking about how big 'n' bad he was, how the humans didn't scare him at all and how he had no fear. I was practically a pup, off on my first adventure on a clipper. Ahh, it was a rat's life! Gnawing on things, climbin' the ropes, eating hardtack, being out in the fresh salty air, gnawing on things..."

"I do believe you said that already Willard."

He sat up on his haunches and looked at me. "Whaddid I tell ya cat?! You wanna hear this or not?"

"Oh, for God's sakes! FINE!" I started muttering to myself.

"Well, me 'n' Rattus an' some of the other ship rats hopped off when we reached the port and made our way to a dancin' hall, where the humans like watching the female ones in their fancy wear--what there was of it on 'em. It's usually good eatin' for us there. Rattus yells to the rest of us 'Watch this!' and runs out on the stage. The females all start screamin' and runnin' around. We're all laughing until this female comes out with a huge broom. You see his eyes get all scared and he cowers. In a flash, the big'un steps on his tail and starts whacking him with a broom. He's curlin' up a ball screamin' 'Nooo! Ow! OW!" over and over again and the rest of us are on the side laughin' as this big human is whackin' him over and over again. Somehow he gets himself free and runs off to where we are. He's all bruised up and his fur was all roughed, but you know what he said to us?"

"Do I really want to know, Willard?" I said, yawning.

"Yeah, ya do! He ran over to us and said 'I sure showed her!'"

At this, Willard keels over, convulsed with laughter. It took everything I had not to bite him anyway. Rat humor...I swear.

Ask ETK: Oh...It Doesn't Even Matter...

2009-04-05T07:07:00.001-04:00

This is Frank. I was told in a letter that he gets excited about squirrels outside and knocks over things inside. I mean really, who doesn't?

I don't care what he's done wrong. Those big paws? That come-hither look? That little "goatee" splotch that gives him such a rogueish, dashing air...and oh my--he has golden eyes?

*waves a paw, giggles and whispers*

"Telegraph me..."

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

In Defense of Evil Geniuses...AND Lawyers

2009-04-03T10:18:00.005-04:00

Doctor Obolensky was recently served papers in Babbage as it seems a lawsuit is being filed against him by Steelhead resident Miss Eugenia Burton. Seems she is a supernatural djinni who broke her ankle when she fell from a high height--her powers having failed upon her being allegedly affected by a reality enforcing device. Doctor O. has since replied to these charges, but it looks like he could possibly be brought to trial for this.

As an "evil" genius myself, I am watching this a bit as I have been known to create a few devices of dubious purpose myself. I could not help but to chuckle a bit at the Doctor's reply, as I did agree with quite a bit of it.

I am not too worried for Doctor O though. We "evil" geniuses get such a bad rap. One does not reach the overly ripe old age of 108 in our profession without having been there-done that a few times (or being exposed to some kind of chemical/rays). I can tell you from experience. A town got levelled once (or twice), killer tomatoes invaded a port village, what that green goo was and how that minion ended up "falling" overboard on my airship that time? How did all of that happen? No idea whatsoever. *whistles*

Say what you will about them, but for us mad scientist "evil" genius types, a good lawyer is priceless.

Ask ETK:

2009-03-29T08:52:00.001-04:00

Dear Evil Tiny Kitty,

Why does Scout pull my textbooks into her litterbox? And why does she try to remove the insulation from my air conditioning?

Signed, Two Seconds From Screaming

Dear Two Seconds From Screaming,

It is because she can.

And from what I can see from this photo, you didn't need those textbooks anyway as it seems she is the one really doing the work!

If you have any RL kitty questions you would like answered, feel free to send them to me inworld or at malegatto[at]gmail.com and I shall enlighten you a bit from a cat's point of view! I also accept pictures of them to feature as well.

Evil Kitty of the Week: Um...

2009-03-27T07:29:00.001-04:00

I personally do not know how the tiny sparkly ponies will help? Perhaps irritate them to death?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Special Delivery

2009-03-26T17:31:00.003-04:00

Oh my! My package finally arrived! *claps with glee*

That more than makes up for all of the mud and waterlogged catnip after the recent flood.

Evil Kitty of the Week: What the...???

2009-03-20T07:06:00.001-04:00

Oh my...how did this cinematic masterpiece from the port city of Hong Kong get in here? Could it be the superb acting? The gratuitous violence? Fish as props? A part of me could not stop laughing. The other part? Well, it wishes to see it now...

Under the Warehouse Waters...

2009-03-18T07:14:00.001-04:00

I set out some trained guardian Steelhead trout in the waters beneath the warehouse...Only to realize that the squiddy things are multiplying...

A PSA from the ETK

2009-03-17T17:01:00.004-04:00

In the spirit of St. Patrick's Day, a happy one to you and friends don't let friends drive airships and horseless carriages drunk!

I Shall Be Feasting Forever...

2009-03-16T18:45:00.004-04:00

I have only this one thing to say: "KITTY HEAVEN IS LOCATED IN STEELHEAD!"

Besides the lovely tastiness, they give gifts first when you touch them. Really. No, I have not had another lab accident. The Steelhead Tour is going on and there are fishies everywhere...even fish ladders. I shall collect and eat them ALL! Might want to come to Steelhead and beat me to them if you want the gifts too!

Cato as The Elf...

2009-03-15T09:18:00.002-04:00

I finally received proof of my minion's shenanigans the other week as he impersonated The Elf...*sighs*